DARLING, I'M OFF TO GO GET SOME MILK

Ok, so one of my favourite couple stories of all time, a friend of mine tells his newly wedded wife “Darling, I’m off to go get some milk”, an hour later he comes back home with a 5series BMW.

Anyways, down to today’s days deal. You know how Sherlock Holmes was able tell the personality of the villain from his handwriting, yes we are going to attempt that but with cars. It’s funny that proper research has been done for this. So you can choose your next employee, mentor, spouse, business partner and pretty much anyone by the kind of car(s) they drive.

AVERAGE SEDANS

as seen EVERYWHERE

They say such person is reliable, committed, loyal, and hardworking Many could actually turn out to be boring and not unique (a white rice and stew person, no chicken teriyaki or salmon sushi). However they generally know what’s important and know what takes priority. Men who drive this usually attract proper wife materials, uncomplicated (yeah like that’s possible), very sweet, practical and balanced she would most likely have something like a coach handbag

BIG TRUCKS

Macho gegewn guy, Mr.if you come too close I will CRUSH you. This could sometimes ooze insecurity (probably bullied when young, or 4 feet tall throughout high school). In the old days it’s usually for a very hard working man (manual labour/don’t mind getting your hand dirty), and the truck is his trusted steed. His girl would probably have a Ralph leather jacket

SUV

Family man likes the outdoors, adventurous and likes travelling. Values friendship and families. Attracts fun loving girl (Pucci shoulder bag kind of girl). You’re a go-getter and attempts to achieve goals asap. Recently its also shows class and affluence Obstacles (like the terrible roads leading to your destinations) are only challenges to be overcome

LUXURY SEDAN

hello BOSS

Older man that comes with all the perks of the normal sedan but more successful, very unique, stylish and classy. Has an eye for perfection and quality. Would attract goal getting (in some other cases gold digging) women (Chanel pearl watch and Balenciaga bag).

SPORTS CAR

don't know where i am going, but i want to get there really fast

Showy, flamboyant, risk taker, adrenaline pumping, narcissist, ego boosting, attention seeking. Funny thing is the major buyers are 50 year old (rich, because that’s what you have to be to spend $100,000 and above on cars with speed and nothing else) men having midlife crisis. They would usually attract much younger, wild, attention seeking girls (the only thing for their wardrobe that came to mind is wonder bra)

MUSCLE

my gf is fresher than, all of you, all of you

Young people with style and a bit on the wild side. Most of the buyers are less than 30. Would attract a girl who falls in the middle of the sports car and luxury sedan (in her wardrobe – a white full Burberry jacket and Choo’s stilettos)

SPECIAL NEEDS

Ladies, if a guy drives any car that’s like this, one thing is pretty clear, he’s trying to “compensate” for an area he feels he might have been “short” changed.  If a girl is driving this, hmmmm, her case is beyond redemption, RUN RUN RUNNNNNN.

PRIUS

Love environment, have fewer kids, often women and are highly educated. Feel like they are in a cult (since not everyone agrees with the idea). The women would wear a free people blouse. In the Nigerian context, you simply do not have sense, fuel is expensive but at least it’s more available than electricity. You would attract a fellow environment protection activist

SMALL CARS

Have healthy diet of bottled water and organic produce. Do not have much fast food or sugar. They like the simple lives and are usually very happy people (and how many do you see in Lagos, sad). Would attract a hippie (Gap blouse).

MINIVAN/STATION WAGON.
 

You’re bighearted and have plenty of room for everyone’s baggage, emotional and otherwise. You love kids and you don’t mind a little clutter. Would attract a motherly woman.(In the wardrobe- bubu[big loose gown] and all these gigantic tote bags)

CLASSIC ANTIQUE.
 

You appreciate a time when life was slower and simpler. You prefer chocolate malts to single malt scotch and pony tail on women, not men. You’d rather watch Bogart than Brad Pitt. (fascinator in the wardrobe)

CONVERTIBLE.You love the outdoors and don’t mind sharing your passion and appearance with the world. You have few secrets and nothing to be ashamed of. You also like attention and stealing the crowd from other people, to the extent they would come in another person’s car, and then go take a picture in/with yours, God dey.

Ok, so that is basically it, and I hope it would be helpful to you when choosing or trying to understand the people around you. By the way, i am stating  putting a partial disclaimer (I won’t be held responsible if you start giving unnecessary excuses to your boss, because he has a minivan and you think oo he’s big hearted. OYO)

Do have a blessed week ahead and drive safe. CIAO